Talking to your doctor

Menopause & Your Health: Five Essential Questions to Ask Your Doctor

You finally bring up your menopause symptoms at a doctor’s visit, only to be met with vague advice, outdated information, or, worse, outright dismissal. 

Sound familiar? You’re not alone.

These days, menopause is everywhere—on social media, in the news, and even popping up in our favorite TV shows. And while it’s encouraging that this once-taboo topic is finally getting some attention, the flood of information can feel more overwhelming than helpful.

And here’s the kicker: even with all the buzz, many women still walk away from their doctor’s office with more questions than answers.

I hear it all the time from my clients and friends. They feel unprepared for this transition and uncertain about what’s happening in their bodies. A recent study showed that “94.1% of women had never been taught about the menopause at school, and 49.0% did not feel informed at all about the menopause.”

And the reality is, doctors don’t know much more. Even gynecologists, the supposed experts in women’s health, receive very little training on this phase of life. A 2019 survey found that only 20% of OB-GYN residency programs offer formal menopause education.

’ve experienced this firsthand. When I asked my gynecologist about menopause, I was told that because I wasn’t having hot flashes, I probably wasn’t close. That response left me frustrated because I knew menopause involves far more than just hot flashes.

That’s why it’s so important to go into your doctor’s appointment informed and prepared. Your health is too important to rely on outdated advice or guesswork.

This guide will help you feel more confident, ask the right questions, and get the support you deserve from your healthcare provider.

Note: This resource is designed for women in midlife experiencing natural menopause. Some women will enter menopause earlier due to medical conditions, surgery, or other reasons.  If that’s your situation, your healthcare needs may be different, so it’s important to have a tailored conversation with your provider.

Ready to get the answers you deserve?

Here are five key topics to discuss with your doctor during this stage of life.

1. Am I in Menopause?

First, let’s clarify the difference between perimenopause and menopause. Menopause is one day in your life—it’s the day you reach 12 consecutive months without a period. After that, you are postmenopausal.

Perimenopause, on the other hand, is the transition leading up to menopause, when hormones begin to fluctuate and decline. This phase can last anywhere from a few years to over a decade and is often marked by irregular periods, hot flashes, sleep disturbances, mood changes, and several other symptoms.

In the U.S., the average age of menopause is 52, but it typically occurs between 45 and 55. That said, genetics, smoking, and certain medical conditions can all influence when it begins, and for some women, perimenopause can start as early as their late 30s.

Unfortunately, there’s no single test that can definitively tell you if you’re in menopause. Hormone levels can vary from day to day, making blood tests unreliable on their own. However, they can still provide helpful insights when interpreted alongside your symptoms, age, and overall health status.

Keeping a symptom journal is one of the best tools you have. It helps your doctor see the full picture and can guide next steps in your care.

Ask Your Doctor:

  • Do you find hormone tests helpful to determine if I’m in perimenopause?
  • What changes should I expect in my menstrual cycle during this time?
  • I’m experiencing xyz symptoms. Does this mean I’m in perimenopause? 

2. Perimenopause Symptoms: What to Expect & How to Manage Them

Depending on who you ask, the list of menopause symptoms can range from a handful to well over 100. While we think of estrogen as a reproductive hormone, it does so much more for our bodies. It plays a role in brain function, bone health,  heart health, and even metabolism. So, as the levels fluctuate and decline, nearly every system in the body will be impacted in some way.

This means we can experience almost every symptom of the body. 

Common Perimenopause Symptoms:

The most common symptoms of menopause include:

  • Hot flashes & night sweats: Experienced by about 75% of women
  • Sleep disturbances: Affecting 16-47% of perimenopausal women
  • Mood swings, anxiety & depression: Reported by 40% of women
  • Vaginal dryness & bladder issues: Leading to sexual discomfort and increased UTI risk
  • Brain fog & memory lapses: Common cognitive complaints
  • Weight gain & metabolic changes: Changes in weight, body composition, blood sugar, and cholesterol, without any change in lifestyle 

Some women experience all of these symptoms, while others have few or none. In addition to the more common signs, menopause can also bring a wide range of other changes, from skin, hair, and nail issues to dizziness, heart palpitations, itchy ears, and even phantom smells.

It’s important to remember that many of these symptoms can also be caused by other health conditions. Rather than assuming they’re all menopause-related, work with your doctor to identify the root cause.

Again, keeping track of any new symptoms you’re experiencing will be key in helping you get the relief and support you deserve.

Ask Your Doctor:

  • Are my symptoms typical for perimenopause, or could they be related to another health condition?
  • When should I be concerned about a particular symptom? At what point should I consider treatment?
  • What other tests should I consider to rule out other conditions that could be causing my symptoms?

3. Hormone Therapy: Is It Right for Me?

Hormone Replacement Therapy (HRT) has been a topic of debate for decades. While past concerns about risks like breast cancer and heart disease led many women to avoid HRT, newer research has clarified its safety and benefits when used appropriately.

HRT replenishes declining hormones like estrogen (and sometimes progesterone and testosterone) to help manage symptoms. Recent studies suggest that HRT may also offer protective benefits for bone, brain, and heart health.

Ask Your Doctor:

  • Am I a good candidate for HRT based on my medical history and symptoms?
  • When is the right time to start HRT?
  • What are the risks and benefits of HRT for me personally?
  • What types of HRT are available (pills, patches, creams, pellets, compounded), and which might be best for me?
  • How do you determine the right dose for me?
  • What side effects can I expect?
  • How long can I safely stay on HRT?

If your doctor dismisses your concerns or offers a one-size-fits-all approach, consider finding a menopause specialist who is well-versed in the latest research.

4. Non-Hormonal Ways to Manage Menopause Symptoms

Not everyone wants or can take HRT, but that doesn’t mean you have to suffer through menopause. There are several non-hormonal prescription medications, supplements, and lifestyle strategies that can help manage symptoms.

Non-Hormonal Treatments for Menopause:

  • Prescription medications: SSRIs, SNRIs, gabapentin, and fezolinetant can help with hot flashes and mood changes.
  • Dietary supplements: Black cohosh, omega-3s, and magnesium have shown varying degrees of success.
  • Lifestyle adjustments: Diet, exercise, stress management, and sleep optimization play a critical role in how you transition through menopause.

Ask Your Doctor:

  • What non-hormonal options are available for managing my symptoms?
  • Should I be considering supplements and herbs? Which ones?
  • What dietary changes should I be making?
  • What type and how much exercise should I be getting?
  • Can you recommend a dietitian, health coach, or other professional to guide me on lifestyle changes?

5. Menopause & Long-Term Health: What You Need to Know

Menopause isn’t just about symptoms—it also marks a shift in long-term health risks. Estrogen plays a protective role in the body, and its decline can lead to increased risks for:

  • Metabolic disorders: Higher likelihood of insulin resistance, diabetes, and weight gain
  • Muscle loss & osteoporosis: Faster bone density loss and increased fracture risk
  • Heart disease: Rising LDL cholesterol, increased blood pressure, and cardiovascular concerns
  • Cognitive decline: Links between menopause, brain fog, and Alzheimer’s risk

Ask Your Doctor:

  • What changes to my health can I expect during menopause?
  • What screening tests should I be getting, and how often?
  • How do my nutritional needs shift at this stage of life?
  • What can I do to protect my bones, heart, and brain as I age?
  • Are there preventive steps I should be taking now to support long-term health?

Final Thoughts: Advocate for Your Health Through Menopause

Menopause is a major milestone, not just in your reproductive life but in your whole-body health. And while the transition can feel confusing, frustrating, and even isolating at times, it doesn’t have to be.

The most important thing to remember? You deserve to be heard, and you deserve answers. If you are struggling with your current provider, maybe it’s time to consider a new one.

The Menopause Society’s provider directory is a great resource for finding a certified menopause specialist near you.

Too often, women are told their symptoms aren’t that bad or dismissed when they ask about treatments. But with the right questions and the right knowledge, you can take an active role in shaping your menopause journey.